I didn’t have to share his love with anyone else. Of course he would have benefited from having two parents around, but from a selfish point of view, I’m not going to complain that I got it all.
I got to be the very best person I could. Without being a dad, I’d never have strived as hard to earn someone’s respect. To earn it from the person you love the most, is far more satisfying than expecting or demanding respect due to DNA.
I found out who I am. Before being a single dad my identity was undefined. By striving to give him everything he needed, emotionally and otherwise, I grew into a person I’d never have known existed within.
My life hasn’t been wasted. When it came to being a dad, I didn’t hold back and gave everything I had. So when I look back in later life, I’ll know that I succeeded in the role that mattered the most. If I was to never get anything else right in my life, being a great dad would be good enough.
Being part of a dynamic duo. We became so close that we border on psychic, and half the time nothing more than a ‘look’ will be enough to set us off laughing as we already know what the other was thinking. We can be in a crowded room and still know exactly what’s going through each others’ mind.
It provided a healthy perspective. It wouldn’t matter how bad things were financially, how grim work was on an almost daily basis, or how oppressive the grip of shear exhaustion became. Being a dad made everything worth it, and all those struggles had a purpose, becoming simply bumps in the road.
Getting to see a young boy turn into the man you wish you could have been when you were younger. I never got the whole need for fathers to be competitive with their offspring. Isn’t it far more healthy to want your kids to exceed your achievements, and do everything you can to help and encourage them?
My life always had value. He was my world, and everything I did was with him in mind. With that as an overriding goal, I never felt as if my time was entirely wasted. Except the time apart that is, but you have to earn a crust.
It’s sink or swim, and you never know how strong you are capable of being until you are solely responsible for another little person.
It was, it is, an honour……plain and simple.